Many times, we get trapped in our daily living, by living other people’s lives. Take for instance this analogy.
A bus loading at Oshodi in Lagos, heading to Ikotun. The driver shouted “Ikotun Egbe, Ikotun Egbe” for quite some minutes and the people find their way into the parked bus, waiting for the arrival of others till the bus get filled. The passengers arrive differently, probably a minute or five minutes before the next passenger, and possibly, some other two arrive together,but they do not know each other from anywhere. In this bus also, is a passenger who is going to the same place, based on a description he had been given by someone, he has never been there and have no idea what the route is like. The remaining passengers in the bus know where they are going, they are familiar with the route and understand what the journey will look like. Now, the point here is that irrespective of the similar bus that is been boarded by these passengers, they all have a different purpose of visiting Ikotun.
The conductor comes around, collects the same bus fare from everyone, even though they are not all going to alight at the same bus-stop. In this same bus that constituted different people, with different background and an uncommon perspective towards life. They do certain things to keep themselves busy, and occupied during the course of the journey. Some sleep, some eat, some others enjoy music from their phones. others do sight seeing, this is mostly applicable to those threading this road for the first time. As each of them approach their bus-stop, they notify the conductor, who alerts the driver to slow down and park.
Now, where am i going with this?
Each person in this bus understands where they are going and where they are coming from, they understand why they are making the trip and the urgency of making the trip. It will be an unpleasant thing for someone in the bus, who does not have a mind of his own, doing what he sees this/that doing. The person next to him buys this, he does the same, the person behinds him starts laughing out loud, he does the same, without even knowing why he did. The hawkers advertise this and that, he patronizes them all, all in the name of he sees people doing the same thing. There is no doubt, he will alight from the bus a confused mad fellow, especially if he happens to be the passenger visiting the place for the first time.
Now, am not of the opinion that you do not take a clue from others, but any clue you are gonna take from anyone, must give you the assurance of becoming a better person. Avoid doing things because every one is doing it, understand your purpose of being who you are, and the purpose of doing that thing you are aiming at. Spell it out to yourself, else people will spell it out to you, they spell out the wrong thing to you, and you will be more confused than you have ever been.
In other words, before you do anything henceforth, either good or bad, let there be a clarity of purpose, and do all you can to establish it, so that you can achieve it.